“By seeking her approval, I was giving her the power to withhold it.”
Similarly, a few weeks ago, My Love said, “I don’t empower others to hurt me today.”
I’m beginning to realize that I give some sort of power to everyone I encounter in my life, and that I need to find another way.
I was riding in a car with a friend when another car cut us off, and my friend went a little nuts, with swear words and hand gestures…you get the picture. I said, “why are you letting a stranger fuck with your serenity like that?”
That sounds really with-it and together and recovered, doesn’t it? Except I let people fuck with my serenity all the time! Why does it matter whether it’s a stranger or a friend?
In my case, it would probably be easier if I let strangers do this, because an encounter with a stranger is a one-time event, and then it’s over.
Instead, who do I let upset me? My mother. My Love. My children. My students. My boss.
A popular Al-Anon slogan states, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”
How can I get better at meeting people where they are, rather than where I expect them to be? How can I take back the power to hurt me?
The only answer I can think of right now is that I can’t, but Father God can, and I need to let him.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.