I have had a rough couple weeks. A long, painful, drawn-out breakup with lots of emotional ups and downs along the way. Now my former Love (whom I still love) is hospitalized, and I cannot be of help or comfort, because we have broken up and I am out of the picture.
Over the course of the last two weeks, I have felt frustrated, overwhelmingly sad, helpless, anxious, worried, depressed, and angry. I have let my housework go, I have not been eating, I have left my children to their own devices entirely too often.
I am finished wallowing. While I am still very sad, I can stop periodically, feel the sadness, and then push forward. The only way to make the grief stop is to push through the grieving process to the end. I woke up this morning ready to push through.
This is my new theme song, for as long as it takes. I know it’s an old one, but that’s OK. Listening to it loud makes me feel fierce and strong.
Bring it on
Let the lightning flash, let the thunder roll
Let the storm winds blow
Bring it on
Let the trouble come, let the hard rain fall
Let it make me strong
Bring it on
And look how much my Father loves me. After deciding to be strong and push through this morning, I picked up my daily devotional, and this is the Word he provided for me today.
And He said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground. ~Exodus 3:5
In the midst of trouble and uncertainty, I am still your peace. This is the peace that passes all understanding, because it is not tied to nor dependent on the pleasantness of the circumstances of your life. I know the situation you face. I am still Lord of it. What I ask of you is to draw near to Me and stay near to Me “until this storm be overpast.” Have I not promised to be with you in trouble? Is My arm shortened that it cannot save? turn from the fear and unbelief that arise in your heart at the first sign of trouble. Call upon Me and I will answer you. Learn, learn, learn to trust Me–and go forward with me. Today’s Scripture is not there by accident or “coincidence.” “Take your shoes off your feet, for the ground on which you stand is holy.” That means the foundation on which you stand in Me is holy ground. Believe it and do not fear! ~Echoes of Eternity, July Sixteenth, Page 152.
I started a blog post earlier I never finished, detailing many ways Father has made himself known to me over the last two difficult weeks. Father God is indeed awesome and amazing and has mad love for me.